Rejection!
The reality of being an artist and why it's wearing me down
As someone who has a habit of applying to a lot of things, I’m used to being rejected. Even during the Tumblr days I’d submit my work to accounts that reposted art. I think my motivation was fueled in part by a desire for validation and a little bit of delusion. This era was probably when I had my first taste of rejection in this sense, but the stakes were low then. It also wasn’t all rejection, there were some successes here and there that kept me going.
The stakes increased, of course, when the opportunities I began applying to became more serious. Back then, there were distinct feelings of disappointment when I’d open the rejection emails. But again, there were acceptances here and there that kept me going. These days the rejections barely register, so I was surprised when I recently found myself feeling worn out from rejection after rejection.
Starting from the end of last year, I’ve been keeping a running list of opportunities that I’m interested in applying to - artist residencies, open calls, and mural festivals. I never kept track of the previous years, so it’s been interesting to see the numbers. So far, there are 60 opportunities on the list. I’ve applied to about 30 of them. The rest includes ones that I decided not to apply to or missed the deadlines for, plus things that I haven’t gotten to yet.
As for acceptances - I got accepted to 1 residency (which briefly made me feel like all this rejection was WORTH IT!), 1 group show open call, and 1 publication open call. These three examples are single handedly keeping my hope alive. There have been no acceptances to mural festivals even though they take up half of the list, and my hope in this area is definitely dwindling.
I’m sharing all of this because I think this emotional rollercoaster is the reality for a lot of us artists. It’s not that I think we should stop applying to things, it’s that we tend to share our wins but not necessarily our losses. I actually often advise people to apply to things and put themselves out there because that’s how I got my first opportunities to show my work.
But constantly baring our souls comes at a cost, and that’s the reason I’m starting to feel worn out. Our work is tied to our identity and our sense of self, so sharing pieces of ourselves all the time is exhausting, especially when it's our careers and livelihoods.
Earlier this year, I began looking for other types of opportunities outside of this list - contract or full time jobs where I could make work that has nothing to do with my personal work. I fantasized about what it would be like to have a gig that gave me steady income and had zero effect on the way I viewed my self worth. Ironically, I did not get these opportunities either, but I had a lot of interesting conversations with friends with this set-up. Some were in favor of it while others were shocked that I would even consider it.
Maybe these contract and full time jobs weren't meant for me at the time (I'm still open to them!) but the brief moment where I thought my lifestyle was about to drastically change gave me a lot of perspective. Despite the emotional rollercoaster and the fatigue of being an artist, it's a huge privilege to be someone who gets to make art, have a creative point of view, and share that with others.
I’m now trying to be kinder to myself and take breaks from applications here and there. I still keep an eye out and save things I’m interested in, including job listings.
I'm learning that:
as much as I love making my work, sometimes I need distance from it to keep loving it
the acceptances that I do receive really are keeping me going
the rejections just make the acceptances feel even sweeter!
the grass is always greener on the other side!
we shouldn’t give up!
In The Studio
I wanted to say a big THANK YOU to those that participated in my recent painting sale. We found new homes for 10 paintings! I’m so happy that they’ll be living new lives outside of my studio and that I can continue making new work. Not only did this studio sale help clear out space in my studio, it’s also felt like a mental cleanse. I now have the capacity both physically and mentally to bring in new energy 🧖♀️
New energy = new work. I'm continuing to build the series from my previous solo show, ‘Transcendental’, exploring how identity is conveyed and perceived, this time adding modularity as another layer. I’m interested in how the small decisions we make everyday, conscious or subconscious, paint a bigger picture of who we are - what we wear, the art we engage with, our preferences, and so on. I’m working on including interactive elements in my work, like inviting the collector or owner of the ceramic frame to choose which paintings are displayed within it.
I’m still very much inspired by architectural moments and design objects that I come across. I saw this metal butterfly chair (pictured below) during a recent trip upstate to Kingston but what’s crazy is that I had already made my painting before this. It felt like a sign that I’m on the right path!
I found this reel about tiles in Taiwan to be really informative and in line with what I’ve been thinking about recently. In the 1920s, concrete became the main building material in Taiwan because of earthquakes. But its surface lacked expression, so people started adding tiles as decoration, bringing color and texture back into the architecture. To me, this represents a collective version of something we do individually all the time: choosing what to wear, how to present ourselves, finding ways to express personality while working within limits.
It's been fun making more ceramic and multi-medium pieces. Similar to the sculptural wood frame paintings I made in the past, combining different materials and mediums helps expand my thinking.
The possibilities keep growing 🌷
Upcoming Group Exhibition: Uprise x The Blanc
Speaking of new work, I’ll be part of an upcoming group show in New York in August. This exhibition is a collaboration between Uprise and The Blanc, and I’ll be showing work alongside 3 other artists. The details are below!
Artists: Nefertiti Jenkins, Fay Ku, Jocelyn Tsaih, Adrian Kay Wong
Dates:
Exhibition: August 12 - September 12, 2026
Opening Reception: August 13, 6–8pm (RSVP link to come)
Location: The Blanc, 15 E 40th St, New York, NY 10016
I hope you can make it if you’re in town :)
Recommendations
Open Calls Resources: Creative Capital, NYFA, Colossal, Open Call Palette, Open Call for Artists, Pick Up The Flow, Street Art Calls, The Street Art List
This tiny home in Kingston
Caffe Panna’s mango sticky rice pints, unfortunately it lives up to the hype (check their IG for drops. Yes, ice cream drops)
Soolla bags and pouches for organizing your art tools. They gifted me both and I really love them, especially for transporting my mural materials!
